The piano room

There’s a tiny room tucked away in the corner on Lee Woo Sing’s ground floor, not much further past the aroma of waffles from Café Tolo. Like many rooms in my hostel, it has a view of Tolo Harbour. It’s dead quiet here, because the hallway outside is shared with the rarely occupied Student Association’s office and the band rehearsal room. The third room is the piano room.

As much as I love living on campus, I’ve had to sacrifice my privacy. Shared dining, shared bathroom, shared room. It’s taken some getting used to, especially for an only child. Sometimes, I just need a break from being around people. So I go and play piano for an hour or two, just to be alone. Here’s the kicker: it’s been close to a decade since I lost interest in playing the piano, shortly before I was supposed to take my first exam. But I do now, at first because I was obsessed with Mariage D’amour, but later on because I craved the peace of the piano room.

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I think by nature, the idea of studying abroad tends to attract primarily extraverted people. I assume these extraverts enjoy, or are at the very least, are more comfortable with meeting new people. For me, as an introvert, the biggest challenge I’ve faced while on exchange is building up a social network from scratch. To be clear, I generally enjoy company. But I prefer playing badminton in a small group, or meaningful one-on-one conversations with good friends, not small talk with people I don’t know well. Obviously, that wasn’t possible at first.

During my first month in Hong Kong, I pushed myself to say hello to fresh faces, scolded myself for forgetting names so quickly and pressured myself to be more social. After all, who wants to experience exchange alone?

I felt exhausted talking to so many new people. I felt awful eating alone. I felt guilty spending Saturdays or Sundays on campus when I could be out exploring. Then I got sick, rested, and decided something had to change.

I gave myself permission to say ‘no’. No, I don’t have to talk to him or her. No, it’s okay to eat alone. And no, relaxing on campus on weekends is fun too.

More importantly, I struck a balance. I made more of an effort with the people I wanted to become friends with, rather than just acquaintances. I would on occasion make lunch or dinner plans in advance. And I even opened myself up to meeting new people on hiking trips through open invites¹.

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On my third week in Hong Kong, I went on the university-organised Lantau Trip by myself, which led to me meeting six new people. To my surprise, I became friends with three of them in the weeks following.

So you never know what the turning point is! I think it took me six weeks to solidify my social circle in Hong Kong, although I continued meeting new people after that. Importantly, everything worked out just fine.

I think introverts definitely have a harder time studying abroad. But nobody’s going to force you to leave your box, to change who you are, nor should you. I never went clubbing at LKF, to the horror of two people when I announced I was heading back to campus at 10 pm. However, I think as in life, it’s absolutely necessary to push the boundaries on occasion, as I did during my Lantau Trip.

So although I disliked the process of meeting strangers on exchange, I willingly continued to do so at my own pace, because it’s absolutely worth it for the end result of knowing more amazing people who I’m glad I can call my friends.

Besides, I can just head to the piano room afterwards.